The PARADE quiz

I know I love a Parade . . .
do you?

Take this quiz to test the extent of your obession with PARADE.  Add up your points as you go along and get the verdict at the end.

Thanks to LoweCoffee at The Deck Plans for letting me steal the concept she used for the Titanic quiz!  Thanks also to Lauren and other PARADE fans for their help with the quiz!

The Quiz

+1     You have the cast recording.
+2     You actually saw the show.
+3     You saw the show twice.
+4     Three times.
+5     Four times.
+6     Five or more.
+8     You traveled more than 200 miles to see the show.
+10   You traveled overseas to see it.
+4     You saw the show in previews.
+7     You saw a dress rehearsal.
+10   You saw one of the workshops.

+1    You first went to see PARADE because you were interested in the Leo Frank case
+2    You first went to see PARADE because it was Hal Prince's latest.
+3    You first went to see PARADE because it was Alfred Uhry's latest.
+10  You first went to see PARADE because it was Jason Robert Brown's latest.

+3   You bought student rush tickets.
+2   You were aware that there were student rush tickets.
+2   LCT staff told you over the phone that there were NOT student rush tickets.
+1   LCT staff was evasive when you asked them if their were student rush and put your on hold.
+1   LCT staff immediately connected you to TeleCharge before you could get a word in edgewise.

+2   You recommended the show to people in the TKTS line.
+4   You were only in the TKTS line in the first place so that you could do this.

+2   You've defended the merits of the show in an online forum.
+5   You've gotten into fist fights over it in public.
+3   You've patiently explained to people that the show was NOT a failure and did not actually get bad reviews.
+4   You have elaborate daydreams in which you sit Ben Brantley and Michael Feingold down and
patiently explain to them the things that they clearly didn't understand about PARADE.
+2   Then you bitch slap them.

+2   You saw Don Stephenson as Leo Frank.
+5   You preferred Don's Leo to Brent's.
+2   You're sure that the picture on the poster is Don.
+8   You saw Jessica Molaskey play Lucille.
+3   For each additional understudy you saw in a lead or featured role
+2   For each actor mistake you saw .
+3   For each technical problem  (the ironing board not coming up during "A Rumblin' and a Rollin'", Brent's pants getting caught in the stage floor, etc.)

+3   You heard the audience applaude after "Come Up to My Office."
+4   You heard the audience applaude after the line "I'd rather be wife to a fine ex-governor than first lady to a chicken."
+5  You incited mass applause by clapping after songs that normally didn't get it (i.e. "Do It Alone," "This Is Not Over Yet" reprises)

+2   You randomly quote lines from the show.
+3   Your friends actually get the references.

+4   You own a bootleg of the show.
+5   You own two or more bootlegs of the show.
+8   You made a bootleg of the show.
+5   You own the demo tape.
+10  You own a video.
+6   You have Parade sheet music.
+8   You got it from the composer.
+2   You have a Parade poster.
+5   You have a Parade t-shirt.
+10 You actually wear the Parade t-shirt.

+1   For each of these CDs that you own:  Titanic, Floyd Collins, My Favorite Year, Kiss of the Spider Woman, john and jen, Hello Again, Songs for a New World..
+2   For each purchased AFTER you saw Parade.
+3   You've read or seen Driving Miss Daisy or The Last Night of Ballyhoo.  (Double points if both.)
+5   You went to one of Jason Robert Brown's shows at Joe's Pub last spring.  (Double points if both.)

+1   You've met a Parade cast member (1 pt. for each you've met)
+2   You got your picture with said cast member(s)  (2 pts. for each)
+5   You saw the show so often that the cast members recognized you.
+6    Cast members know your name.
+10  You told a cast member that you loved them.
+5   You've seen cast members at places other than the stage door or the theater.
+3   You've seen:  Fables in Slang, Dream True, or The First Picture Show (Double points if you saw them all)

+4   You have a special place on your Buddy List designated for other Parade fans you IM with.
+6   You run a web page that features anything related to Parade or Parade people.
+7   Cast members, creators, or LCT staff  have e-mailed you.
+8   The significant others of any of the above have e-mailed you.
+5   You have a Parade-related e-mail address, URL, or screen name
+8   Your screen saver is a picture of Brent and Carolee and you've recorded snipits of the soundtracks and created icons for them on your desktop so that at the click of a mouse you can hear "This Is Not Over Yet", "Do It Alone" or "All the Wasted Time".  (Or some other Parade-related desktop theme)

+4   You know two or more of the versions of the "How Parade began" story.
+6   You remember back when Stephen Sondheim was talking about plans to write the score for a
musical about "a famous lynching."
+4   You know all the details of the Alfred Uhry-Leo Frank connection.
+2   When it comes to composers, you feel that the third name stands for quality.  (Note:  Does not apply to guitar-wielding Scotsmen.)

+4   You often use the words "Parade" and "kicks ass" in the same sentence.
+5   You insist that others do the same.
+3   You've converted friends into Parade fans.

+7   You can recreate the blocking for entire sequences.  Double points if you can do this for "Come Up to My Office," "Pretty Music," or "Feel the Rain Fall."

+8   You were at Parade on opening night.
+5   You were at the final performance (Double points if you're a Martin Moran fan.)
+7   You went to Virgin Megastore at midnight on April 27th to get your copy of the cast album.
+4   You're making plans to take a road trip to Atlanta in the summer of 2000.

+4   You sort of wanted to celebrate Confederate Memorial Day this year.
+2   points for each of these books you've read:  The Old Religion, Night Fell on Georgia, Dinnerstein's book, A Little Girl is Dead, or any other book related to the Frank case
+2   You've seen The Murder of Mary Phagan

+4   You can talk at length about the characters' real-life counterparts.
+4   You know who "Lonny Mann" is in reference to in the line "Lonny Mann is sweet on Monteen".
+5   You know who Monteen is.
+12 You know the melody of and all the words to "The Ballad of Mary Phagan" it was sung by the actual Fiddlin John Carson outside Marietta County Courthouse

+3   Suddenly, Leo, Lucille, Essie, and Iola seem like cool names.
+2   You don't go to the movies anymore, you go to the "pictures"
+3   The last time you were at church, you searched the hymnal for "There is a Fountain."

+5   You actually got Leo's "Dickens" joke.

+4   You suffered physical or emotional distress as a result of PARADE's closing.

+2   You screamed when Jason Robert Brown and Alfred Uhry won the Tony.
+2   You screamed when everyone else lost.
+3   You threw things at the TV when everyone else lost.
+3   You don't like Bernadette Peters as much as you used to.
+2   You've decided that Bob Fosse's work is vastly overrated.

+10  You are listening to the PARADE cast album this very moment.

The Verdict

0-100 pts.          Let me guess . . . you bought the album and love it, but never got to see the show, right?  Well, we won't hold that against you.  Wait till you see a local production, then try taking the quiz again.

100-150 pts.     Yep, you love a Parade alright, but you're hardly obsessed.

150-200 pts.    You obviously were (and will therefore always be) a devoted Paradegoer.

200-250 pts.     Guilty.  You need help.

250-300 pts.     Wow.  Had there been a couple more fans like you, the show would still be running.

300-400 pts.     Okay, now you're just scaring me.

Back to The Old Red Hills of Home